Juárez. Just one word – disdained by the world, restricted by the fear that shackles her. A terror. Abandoned, scorned, forgotten.

Juárez. Just one word – my heart leaps. Excitement fills the air. Anticipation. My city, my home. LOVE. Beauty. Life. Friends. Hope and anticipation of what is to come.

I recently had a conversation with a sweet lady, a distant relative I had just met. We discussed the holidays and lovely things. She smiled, we laughed. Then one word changed everything. Juárez. Her face turned cold gray. She began with panic-stricken eyes to notify me of all of the horrors in Juarez, and that she lived in Tucson as if she were smack in the middle of it all.

She went on desperately about the cartels and the danger, spouting those fear-soaked phrases I have heard all too often. I explained to this sweet panicky lady that my belief is in One greater than the cartel, that we cannot abandon the ones left behind. I told her that we had lived in Juarez for nearly two years and have been making trips back ever since. I explained that I knew what it was really like and I was not afraid. Again she charged at me, slashing her words of fear in my face.

Eventually, as she realized that I would not concede, a vaguely familiar look came upon her face. I remembered this look from my childhood, it wreaked of disapproval and disappointment. Then, in a ‘tsk tsk’ tone she said,”Well, good luck.” And there it was. I had just been handed my papers and asked to leave. Scorned and discarded right along with Juárez. I guess I had chosen my fate. When I responded with “I don’t need luck, I have Jesus”, I could tell that she was no longer hearing my words. She had disconnected.

After her multiple well-wishes and apparent disassociation from the conversation, I politely pulled myself away from her disapproving glare. I was enraged. Heart-broken. So this is it, the conclusion that is reached. This is the response of fear: Dis-engage. Cut-off. Escape. Forget.

We get to be in Juárez again and my heart breaths a big sigh of relief. I am renewed. This is a beautiful place, a safe place, a place where my soul is restored, where I feel the presence of God like nowhere else. This is my favorite place because it is His favorite place. There is an excitement in the air here in Juárez that I cannot explain, an electricity that can only be experienced. In this place hope is born and dreams come alive. In this city of wild opportunity miracles happen, lives are altered, joy is discovered and love is found. This is the only place I want to be.